26th Sunday, OT year B

So often, we become over zealous in pointing out and scrutinizing the faults of others, the differences among us and segmenting each other into artificial categories. We do this all the while proclaiming our excellence and making our lives the marker for others to follow. This is such a prevalent and easy habit to fall into in our culture, and perhaps for many cultures over many millennia.

What makes this such an issue, especially in light of this weekend's readings is that this attitude towards life is the direct result of sin and thus perpetuates sin among our brothers and sisters. This leads us to not uniting in Christ, but instilling hate and resentment and setting people up to hate each other and themselves - this is not the message of the Gospel.

The first reading and the Gospel give us episodes of people running to Moses and Jesus reporting about others preaching in God's name. Both Moses and Jesus gives sort of a "don't worry about it" response and sends the message "worry about getting yourself to heaven with your brothers and sisters"and a little less critiquing.

Jesus goes further and hyperbolically exclaims that it is better to cut off our limbs and enter eternity maimed than to enter Hell intact.

If you don't believe that we do this, just examine every institution, media outlet, chamber of government, workplace and household - it happens all the time. From instead of debating the various philosophies of governing, conservatives are told to hate liberals and liberals hate conservatives. Instead of people of different faiths and creeds dialoging to come to a fuller understanding of their purpose in the mind of the universe, we're bread to hate and sometimes kill them. Instead of having a family meeting to discuss an issue in the household, we create divisions and factions to the point of exponential divorce rates and domestic violence.

Sin, at its very root, is turning in on ourselves with little to no regard for those around us, our brothers and sisters, the ones we love.

Scripture is clear that conquering sin, living for God, leading others to the Truth of God, establishing a world aflame with Love is our primary focus and mission. We are responsible for the salvation of those we minister to and are in contact with. It is not just the job of the priest to get us to heaven, but it's everyone's. Husbands are responsible for the salvation of their wives and vise versa. Family members, siblings, friends, loved ones, colleagues, strangers: we are responsible for their salvation. Failure to do so makes amputation of our limbs more desirable.

Scary? Sure. Real? We better believe it. Christ has won for us eternal life - the door is open. But we need to live lives worthy of that victory Christ won on the cross. We need to follow the path to that portal by living lives of virtue and bringing others along with us.

BE the change

In my senior year of high school, the senior class had to pick a quote to put in the yearbook underneath your photograph. It's an assignment that some take seriously, some view as an opportunity to be outlandish and others just refuse to submit anything. I was one who, in being someone who collected quotes, looked forward to this task for my entire senior year. The quote i picked is one I remember wanting to use for months, but where I found it, I cannot remember. It is a simple quote, one that many have probably heard, but is one that has stuck with me through now into my priesthood. The quote is:

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"

~Mahatma Gandhi 

I always envisioned myself being this renegade, this crusader who valiantly saved the world from every evil, war, pestilence and corrupt ideology - I wanted to embody that change to the point of affecting every aspect of the globe. These were high expectations, I knew, but I was able to see so many problems in the world and I intuitively knew solutions to all of them. There was almost nothing I didn't have a cure for or a method to get to the utopia we all yearn for. This yearning, this desire, came along with me into the priesthood.

All through the seminary, in varying degrees over time, being this salvific change was always on my mind and in my heart. Over the years of seminary and formation, it got tempered, but never left. As the days got closer and closer to priesthood, I began to see my desire to be the change I wished to see in the  world coming closer to fruition. 

I dont want you to get the wrong impression that I answered the call to the priesthood to change the world into my utopia, not even close. The priesthood is a vocation a man is called to by God and over years of formation and discernment he comes to say Yes to laying his self down for the love of the Church (to put it very simply). But there was always a little bit of "super hero"mentality that told me that perhaps you could "do" more when you're a priest. 

Being a priest now for just shy of 4 months, I see just how naive I was in interpreting Gandhi's words. 

Almost everyday now, as a priest, I am faced with a situation or scenario where I simply do not know what to do or how to solve the problems presented to me. I know what I want and what direction people should go in to solve the issues life has thrown at them, but how to do that, I don't always know. 

I want to solve everybody's problems, heal all their wounds, make all their demons go away, get them to good health - I want to be the one to give them the change they desire AND that is where I went wrong with that quote.

The sacrament of Orders gives a man a phenomenal amount of grace to live out this vocation (this is a topic too large for right now) and changes his very soul - BUT it doesn't make him Thor! As much as a man wants to DO something, he is called to BE CHRIST! 

Nothing you do as a priest, you do as yourself - it is a total unification to Christ and a total self gift to your love, your bride, the Church. When someone comes to the priest, they are coming to Christ. That is such an easy thing to say, but perhaps the biggest challenge -at least for me - of the priesthood. 

So how do I "be the change" I wish to see in the world? I simply have to be Christ. That can't be an excuse for laziness or passivity, it has to be a call to action - an action of the presence of Christ. The change I've been called to give is not the product of my physical skills, but that of my ontological change! The world will not and cannot be changed without Christ - period, end of the debate. No ideology or party or man can bring true change to the world - the change that satiates the desires of our souls - but the presence of God. Never has this been made clearer to me since becoming a priest.

So can priests not bring about change in the world? They most definitely can, but not in some Marvel Comic type of way. As a priest, when people come to you looking for health of mind, body and soul, they asking God to come to them, let them know they are loved and precious, let them know that they are not abandoned and that with Christ they will conquer anything. 

It is not my elbow grease, but my presence - my BEing that brings about that Change. The ministry of presence is perhaps the best agent for change. In bringing that presence of Christ out into the world, to people in despair, does the world slowly begin to change and turn towards God. The change I want in the world is Christ. It is ultimately for Christ to reign in the hearts of every man woman. It is for everyone to come to feel the beating of the heart of God. I cant DO this, but I can BE and stand witness to that change. I may not be able to cure the physical ailment, but I can show them Christ who desires to go through this pain with them. 

It is hard to internalize and live - it probably will take a lifetime to begin to fully understand. But, there has been nothing more beautiful and awesome than to be with people in their darkest and most vulnerable moments and be able to help them attain that change they desire - help them to see and know the love of God. 

I am a priest!

I haven't written on here for a month.

In that time I was in the midst of an avalanche of details to plan for my ordination which was on June 8th. The ordination weekend consisted of a couple liturgies, receptions and many people to see and talk to. After that weekend I spent the week at home celebrating mass at various churches around town and hanging out with family and friends before heading down to my deacon assignment and now priestly assignment for a mass of thanksgiving and reception. This past week I was on our diocesan priest convocation for some time for fraternity, prayer, conferences and relaxation. This weekend I am heading to a parish that prayerfully supported me as a seminarian for the weekend masses.

It has been a whirlwind of excitement, prayer and awe!

I start at my assignment at the end of next week, so hopefully I will be settled in soon and can get back to writing the blog. I have actually had a fast from most technology - I haven't really been on Twitter or Facebook or the internet at all for the past month. In some ways, it is kind of refreshing...

I hope to return with regular posts very soon

Please keep me and all priests in your prayers

Looking back...

This is my final week in the seminary.

In a way it is a time for rejoicing and celebration for I had completed this assignment, this phase of my life. At the same time, it incites a lot of self-reflection and examination on the past 8 years of my life.

I have been blessed to have had the opportunity to experience phenomenal opportunities and meet some extraordinary people. I have had the opportunity to minister on an Indian reservation in SD, work in a soup kitchen in the heart of the Bronx. I have been assigned to two hospitals, two nursing homes, two youth programs, and a mental hospital as apostolic ministries. I have had the opportunity to go on pilgrimage to NY to be with the pope on his US visit and to Rome where I had the opportunity of being an acolyte at mass with him in St Peter's. I had the opportunity to not only go to Rome, but to Ars where I went to confession in the confessional of St John Vianney, followed by my acolyte installation at the tomb of St Vincent de Paul in Paris and serving mass in Notre Dame Cathedral.

Then there have been the innumerable day-to-day encounters and experiences that are the brick and mortar to the whole edifice of the seminary experience.

I have met some outstanding individuals - fellow students, priests, laity - who have impacted my life in ways many of them will never know and who some have become lifelong friends.

The formation process is so massive and weaves itself into every dimension of the man who goes through it. To synthesize and do a total reflection on it as a whole is a near impossible task for every aspect of your life and faith is affected by the experience. But I want o give a few thoughts on the spiritual and vocational growth I've experienced over the last 8 years.

Firstly, the sense I had of who God was when I first began and the sense of God now is miles deeper. My faith formation growing up was largely rooted in my 12 years of Catholic education and going to church on most Sundays - I was left with many more questions and vague notions of God than I would have preferred. It was in the process of these past years that I have taken ownership of, not only my knowledge of God, but my relationship with Him, and that is the most important element. I entered seminary with a feeling and a desire to discover what the priesthood meant while believing I had a grasp on God, but 8 years later I realize that I was very young and unspecific in my faith and didn't know a lot about what it meant to truly know God.

Secondly, it is the relationship with God that has come to define me. I am in no way holy and saintly, but I work on and desire a relationship with God so as to have everything about me reflect in that relationship. In all my weaknesses and struggles and challenges that I face in myself and in this vocation, I (try to) recognize them in the context of enduring it with God. God is not an idea that I can pray to in time of need, but an intimate friend whom I converse with all the time, any place and anywhere. It is that constant awareness of being in the presence of and in relationship with God that has truly been the most distinguishable touchstone of growth for me.

Thirdly, it is the overall sense and understanding of prayer and how powerful and effective it can be in our personal lives, but in the lives of those around us. It think this flows from the previous two points, but if you know what it means to know and you build a relationship with that person, then communication becomes enriched, deeper and more meaningful. The same goes with God. Even though we can't communicate the same as with a friend, we can still communicate and we do so through, not only through our senses, but also our souls and hearts. Communication with God is what it is all about - no matter the devotion, the words or actions - it is all about communicating and getting closer to the God. I think I was far more prone to pray to fulfill a sense of obligation to say words, but now I still have an obligation and bound by promises to my bishop to pray, but it is to enrich my life and the life of the whole church. This God that I pray to is the same one you and everyone else prays to - there is only one God! The more I can pray and love God, the more I am connected to the God who loves all humanity which leads me to being more connected to them in love.

It is a huge web and nothing is autonomous or isolated from another. My prayer life cannot not affect my relationship with God. My relationship with God cannot not affect my relationship to humanity. My relationship to humanity cannot not affect my relationship with God...and so on! (I know I used double negatives... I can't not resist)

I hope that wasn't too broad or too much, but my early reflections on this past phase of my life has made me initially see that fundamental growth and awareness has taken place.
As I move forward, especially in these next four weeks before priestly ordination, I will be reflecting a lot on what all this means to be called to the priesthood and to grow in maturity within the context of God...

Holy Thursday: On This Night

This night, gathered in a small dimly lit room, Jesus gives is the two most essential gifts or "things" He could ever give us: The Eucharist and the Priesthood

The disciples had no idea what Christ had up His sleeve that night; only Judas had a hint of what was to transpire after the meal, but Christ knew and He was prepared. He knew that one of His closest friends was going to betray Him; He knew that He was going to be plucked from every comfort and security he had in this world; He knew that this was going to be the last meal he would share with those He loved; He knew He was about to suffer a tortuous end to His life; He knew He had to act!

Going to the cross was going to win for us salvation; it was going to defeat darkness, sin and death itself, but it was still going to leave us as a fallen people, still bound to the affects and enslavement of sin. He was going to leave us a means to experience and taste His love, mercy and intimacy after He left this earth. He was leaving us a way to taste our salvation: The Eucharist and the Priesthood!

This night, in that dim room, Christ gave his beloved twelve a model to follow. He, God made man, got on His knees and washed to feet of sinful, weak and imperfect men - Even Judas who was about to betray Him and the other ten who abandoned Him. He gave them a model of total self-surrender, total self- gift, total self-sacrifice of themselves for others.

He showed them that to be a priest was no longer about sacrificing goats and pigeons - it was about sacrificing yourself. He showed them that what He was doing and about to do was the new model for priestly service and way of life. He showed them that sacrificing the True Lamb was the only sacrifice capable bringing salvation. He showed them the model by which, men chosen from their peers by God, would give others the body and blood of Christ by sacrificing their own everyday.

No glitz, no glamour, no status or honor was he bestowing on them - He was calling these men to die so others may have life. The priesthood was no longer a sterile or apathetic position among men - NO - The priesthood was now about dying for the life of men! Each one of these disciples in that room that night was called to the cross - Each of those men realized that the greatest way of love was to deny themselves and give everything you have for another.

It is only this sacrifice and this love that suffices the cravings of the soul!

Acknowledging this reality, each Catholic man not married needs to ask himself, needs to pray about, needs to ponder this priesthood and if he is being called and chosen from among men for this sacrifice. The world cannot survive without priests giving us the Eucharist and forgiving our sins and being a man on the boundary of creation and Creator. Each man needs to talk with Christ and others so he may know if he is in this world for it's salvation. Each man here tonight and elsewhere: Are you being called to follow this model of Christ and sacrifice yourself so others may taste and experience their salvation?
Without priests, there is no Eucharist; without priests, there is no sacraments; where there is no Eucharist or sacraments, there is no Church for people to come and experience first hand their salvation and the love and sacrifice that every soul needs and craves. It is essential and not optional!

This night, Christ lays down the foundation for chosen men to lay down their lives because of love.

This night, Christ takes His new priests and gives us His very flesh and His very blood.

This night, we receive the two most tangible and eternal gifts and signs of our salvation and the love that conquered death.

7th Sunday Ordinary Time: Your sins are forgiven

Humanity, in  the past two decades or so, has acquired an immunity and desensitization to much of the violence, gore, sex, horror and whatnot that gets presented to us in media.

Think about all the music, movies, TV, games and everything else that literally puts us in the midst of so much horrible things and scenes. We have become a people who don’t look away, gasp, get repulsed or sick at seeing these images.

Don’t get me wrong; I am a media junkie. I love so many genres of music, movies and television and many that presents much of this stuff. I love a good movie of war, violence, horror, etc. Who doesn’t?

My point is not to demonize anything media related. I only mean to point out and make us aware of the reality that we have in so many ways become immune and desensitized to nearly everything put forth in our favorite media. It is something interesting to think about and realize. I think that part of taking ownership of ourselves is knowing ourselves and recognizing the blind spots in our lives, and I think this is one blind spot that all of us have.

There is another blind spot we need to acknowledge that predates R rated films by millennia, that is the magnitude of the effects of sin in our lives.

Two episodes of the mercy towards the sinfulness of humanity are shown to us.

Isaiah shows us of God essentially telling the people “I know your sins. I know how weak and vulnerable you are. But you know what, I love you. I love you and I forgive you. Let’s move on”. In the Gospel, Christ is presented with a man lowered through the roof of his house! What is telling about this encounter is that instead of healing his paralysis, Christ forgives him of his sin.

The Gospel gives us no indication of disappointment on the man’s part, but I think many of us feel it inside when we really think about it. If we came to Christ and wanted some physical ailment healed and, instead, He forgave us of our sins, would we be disappointed?

Sin has stripped something out of the core of our souls. It has left an emptiness and yearning inside of us the we have become all too often immune to in it affects. Because there is a hollowness inside of us, we naturally try to fill it up and it often gets filled with sin. Because that hole appears and feels filled, we don’t realize it is even there or the hazards of it. So we go days, weeks, months or years without really thinking about sin. We live in the midst and stench of that sin and we don’t even recognize it. We don’t feel sorrowful , shameful, embarrassed, or guilty. We essentially numb ourselves to sins effects because we have fooled ourselves into thinking that we aren’t hurting ourselves or others and we end up justifying our actions.

We are desensitized to sin!

But God does see this and He desires nothing more than to fill that hole with His love, mercy and the intimacy of a relationship with Him. This healing is essential to our salvation and our coming to know and experience God and the beauty of life.

When Christ says, “Your sins are forgiven”, He is performing a greater miracle than the physical healing of the man’s paralysis by saying “Rise, pick up your mat and walk”.

When a priest utters, “I absolve you of your sins” in the sacrament of Confession, he too is performing that awesome and essential miracle: the forgiveness of sins.

This is our last Sunday of Ordinary Time for a couple months. We enter the season of Lent this Wednesday when we will dive deep into the reality of sin and death before we immerse ourselves in the mystery of life and resurrection at Easter.

We need to not only acknowledge blind spots in our lives like our immunity to violence in film and TV, but also the effects of sin in our lives. We need to start yearning for those words of forgiveness, mercy, intimacy and love.

We need to start recognizing our need for those words of Christ “Child, your sins are forgiven”.

40 Hours

A tradition in many parishes is the 40 Hours celebration that falls on or near the feast day of the parish. Many senior priests tell stories of the days when these would be true 40 hour celebrations that would be 3 days of Eucharistic adoration, a nightly homily / talk by a guest priest and three nights of dinners and parties for neighboring priests. In the days when the rectories were crowded residences, there would be gatherings of dozens of priests flooding into the rectories to play cards, eat,socialize, laugh, tell stories, pick on each other and just have fun! Nowadays, many priests try to maintain this tradition but in a smaller capacity. Most parishes that host these now only have them one night and only consists of socializing and dinner for the priests followed by benediction with the parish. These are nice and fun gatherings - it is the only time guys seem to get together.

Tonight, my parish held their 40 Hours celebration. It was a great time with 17 other priests that came over to the rectory. I knew them all, so it was great to be able to comfortably interact and talk with them. The priests in the area are great guys and it is wonderful to be able to hang out with them and see gather with them in a setting I rarely get to. About a half dozen ladies from the parish were in our kitchen all day preparing the delicious food and served us 4 courses; it was a great meal!

I presided over the Benediction - it was my first time doing this. It was a nice little service. What is characteristic of these 40 Hours benedictions is the Eucharistic procession around the church with the servers and all the priests and deacons vested followed by the Eucharist. Our 4th degree Knights were also here tonight and they added their signature presence.

It is not a heavily attended event in the parish. I think I recognize some reasons why it isn't and one reason is the very little talk and advertisement it receives. It was in the bulletin and that is about the extent to which it was publicized. This shows me for sure the importance of developing good parish communication from the pastor and also from all other resources they can utilize.

I definitely beleive that one reason people do not come to church or events like this at church is simply because they were not asked or told about it! I am certain that the simple sentence of "Tuesday evening is the 40 Hours benediction, please come to celebrate our parish" would have doubled the attendance... but this is for another discussion

It was a great evening of priestly (and transitional deacon) fraternity, good food and prayer

St Francis, please continue to pray for all of us

4th Theology

It has come!

After seven years of seminary formation, I am now in the infamous 4th Theology year of seminary. I am a transitional deacon and only a matter of months away from the priesthood.

When you are young and starting out in the seminary, you look at the 4th year men, the deacons, and view them as little less that immortal and privileged to be where they are. Being in their shoes was unimaginable reality, but now it is!

This semester I am taking courses geared heavily towards the practical and ministerial aspects of both the diaconate and the priesthood. Going back to the parish every weekend will be an invaluable lesson and enriching experience. I will be able to bring my experiences from my ministry in the parish back to class and synthesize everything and hear the experiences of my classmates.

I have a mixture of feelings and emotions. I am very anxious for this new seminary experince and being able to get back to the parish which I have come to love and feel at home at. It also excites me to think that this is my last year of school and seminary. It is rather intimidating though to think that within a matter of months, I will be assuming the role and responsibilities of the priesthood - it is getting real!

I was very anxious and antsy to be ordained a deacon. You wait years for it and you desire to do all that the deacon can do. Now that it is here, I am very content and peaceful in that I am now a deacon. I now have been entrusted with a lot and I am comfortable with waiting one more academic year for priesthood. I really want to take full advantage of what the diaconate can offer for me and how I can grow in this role.

Also, I see how awesome the responsibilities of being a deacon are and I appreciate the reminder prep time to get ready for the even more surmounting tasks and responsibilities entailed in the priesthood.

Let's crack open those books...for one last year!

Invitation to the priesthood

This is a video I watched a few months back and had it saved.

It's both motivating and awesome !

A teacher at heart

Bishop John Brungardt: Ordination Remarks from Rocco Palmo on Vimeo.

At the end of an Ordination ceremony, a newly ordained bishop is called upon to give a few words. Presumably, this is an opportunity to introduce himself to his new diocese and sort of show who he is.

Bishop John Brungardt, Dodge City, clearly showed that he has not lost or forgotten his roots as a high school science teacher for some ten years before entering seminary. This is a little long, 22 minutes, but a must watch. Not only is it fascinating to hear the words of a new bishop, but he uses the 4th graders in attendance to help him explain all the various things a bishop wears and to thank all the many people who have helped him along the way. This is truly beautiful and touching.